Mindset shifts post-Covid

Spending so much alone time at home during Covid led me to develop a couple of mindsets, or attitudes, that do NOT reflect the person I want to be. And yet, now that the pandemic is over, I’m finding it hard to shake off these attitudes. Specifically, I have two mindset shifts to make post-Covid: a sense of social anxiety, and an orientation toward self-centeredness.

This post will describe how I got here and what I’m doing to move forward. Maybe my story will help you shift a mindset you’re struggling with, too.

First mindset shift: social anxiety

The first mindset I’ve been trying to shift post-Covid is social anxiety — a fear that people don’t want to be around me anymore.

Problem: I lost confidence during the pandemic

I was kind of introverted before Covid, but it’s gotten worse. Recovering from the knee surgery I had just prior to the shutdown took longer than I’d anticipated. It delayed my return to tennis, a key source of social connection for me. I didn’t pursue new hobbies or read many books. I meant to publish regularly to my blog, maybe even to start a podcast or video channel. But I didn’t.

As a result, I felt boring. I was nervous about going to the kind of event where people would inevitably ask, “So what do you do?”

Facing my fears

When in-person gatherings first resumed, I accepted invitations to a couple of parties and signed up for a professional conference. But later I began to doubt whether anyone would talk with me.

The conference had seemed like a good idea back when I registered for “early bird pricing.” But the night before the event, I asked myself, why hadn’t I just signed up for the virtual package? I could have saved money and not had to feel awkward when introducing myself to someone new.

Force myself to leave my comfort zone

But I gave myself a pep talk and prepared something I could say if anyone were to ask me what I did. I picked out an outfit that made me feel confident. I arrived early, so parking and finding the venue wouldn’t fluster me.

And you know what? I shouldn’t have worried. There were plenty of others attending primarily to learn. I had known this all along, of course. But it took facing my fear to believe what I knew in my head.

Realize it’s not about me

The best part of attending in person? I stopped thinking about my own fears and started paying attention to other people. While we were waiting for the first session to begin, I realized lots of people were absorbed in scrolling their phones — a tell-tale sign they’d rather not interact with strangers.

I decided I’d focus my conversations on asking other people about themselves. Instead of worrying about how I could sound interesting, I showed genuine curiosity about what brought them to the conference. This, as it turned out, worked really well. By the conference’s second day, I felt happy walking in from my car.

Second mindset shift: self-centeredness

During the pandemic, I developed a mindset that my time was my own and I didn’t need to share it. From this attitude of self-centeredness, going back to “normal” has intruded on my personal space.

Problem: I liked having time to myself during Covid

Truth be told, I mostly liked the shutdown. I wasn’t lonely because I had my husband and dogs at home, plus video and phone calls with family and friends.

Best of all, my calendar cleared. I got to stop doing things I hadn’t enjoyed anyway — evening events, for example. Meetings became more efficient because I logged in from home. It was easy to avoid people who might drain me of time and emotional energy.

Resolve to make a mindset shift post-Covid

But as things have ramped up again, I’ve had to confront my self-centered mindset. It’s one thing to observe boundaries that preserve my personal well-being. But isolating myself over the long run can lead to loneliness and depression — which clearly are bad for my health.

On top of that, I don’t want to be the kind of person who puts myself first. Here are things I’ve been doing to shift my self-centered mindset.

Invest time in young people

My husband and I decided to give up one night per week last fall to help launch a small group of young couples at our church. I cooked dinner for them a few times, kicked off a Bible study and mostly just enjoyed welcoming them to our home.

By simply offering hospitality, we made a bunch of new friends. And perhaps even more important, we helped them build community with each other.

Connect with others, notice needs

As things get back to normal again, I’m trying to notice other people’s needs and do something to help out. Even if it’s something small. This might be taking a meal to someone who’s sick, or stopping to chat with a neighbor walking by my house.

Obviously, these are not bold steps to conquer the pattern of self-centeredness I developed during the pandemic. But for me, they’re more doable. Small efforts to connect with others are helping me gradually shift this mindset.

You CAN shift your Mindset

You too may have experienced a sense of social anxiety or self-centeredness as a result of the pandemic isolation. Or maybe there’s something else holding you back as you try to return to normal.

Whatever your personal issues are, it’s time to own them. Don’t let a mindset developed during Covid be your excuse for neglecting social ties now. As demonstrated by the world’s longest-running study of happiness, positive relationships are key to health and well-being.

Start small and build confidence. Your choices will benefit your health!

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